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Saturday, 21 March 2009

What this blog means to me

Warning: By reading on you agree that the author is in no way liable for any mental damages.It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A lady screamed. The blog was born.

Admittedly, the few instances where I have posted anything here tend to be protracted soliloquys. They may seem harmless, but their true intent is far from it. Regardless, since I have been asked to give a brief elaboration, I will be honorable and divulge the deep dark secret, for I have no penchant for deceit. They form part of my plot for world domination. The ISA also briefly caught on to this, and hence resulted in the brief termination of the blog. However, its revival just proves that my dedication and wit is inexorable.

No, seriously.


Okay, now that my brilliant reverse psychology has undoubtedly convinced everyone, I can freely reveal the intricate details of my plot. They involve a waffle and a monkey. The reasoning is simple, because one day, the monkey will eat the waffle, and the world will fall. I alone will rise above the ruins and become lord and master of the world. Of course, that's the big overall plan which simpletons will be unable to understand, so to be more specific, I will describe the role of the blog in the big plan.

Firstly, the blog serves as a tool to recruit minions for my cause. By building a sense of camaraderie, I will have a pool of zealots willing to lay down their lives for the cause. This much has been achieved, as am I assured the seeds of devotion have already been planted. Over a year and ye have yet to forget about it. Go me.

Secondly, it serves as a platform for insiduous subliminal messaging. Ever wondered why my posts make little sense? Because they have been structured to appeal directly to your subconscious over your cognition. Hence why it often makes little sense but yet you are drawn to finish reading everything. By hiding such messages among the sheer volume of deceptively similar retardation online, it is more likely to evade detection. (The ISA catching on was a fluke on their part. Clearly some novice being bored and hitting the delete button on random pages. Supported by the lack of followup action on their part after its revival).

In the grand scheme of things, this means I will be able to gradually subvert and create my supermonkey of awesome, which plays a significant role in my taking over the world.

P.s. Do not tell anyone else about this, even if you did, my creative eugenics and genetic engineering program from several generations ago has already ensured the imprinting of disbelief in any slander against me.



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