Alvin! Aaron! Chern Wei! Wai Lumn! Liang En! Yong Zi! Adrian! Katrina! Niklas! Jane! Irvin! Chia Ming! Kai Herng! Jaime! Sean! Benjamin! Shir Li! Andrew! Jin Rong! Miao Jing! Soon Huat!


Thursday, 9 March 2006

7D Medical Foundation, Disease Database: CMD

7D Medical Foundation, Disease Database:

Encephalopathy, Chiasm Spongiform Mingsticus; better known as CMD [Variant of Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, better known as Mad Cow Disease]

A degenerative disease associated with over-excitation of certain regions of the brain (including left cortex, frontal lobe and right hemisphere of cortex), resulting in deterioration of brain tissue.

Symptoms & Complications:

  • Spasms
  • Redness of face
  • Shortness of breath
  • Speech inhibition
  • Uncontrollable cachinnation [Cachination: Laughter]
  • Dysfunctional gelotological ability [Gelotology: Study of Laughter]
  • Irreversible damage to cognitive capacity [Read: Brain damage]
  • Denial
  • Loss of mental control

Known Triggers:

  • Faces of homo sapiens
  • Human speech
  • Certain “hot not cold” individual taking off spectacles and wiping them
  • Torn enzymes tutorials
  • Watching an organism known as the 'Nivla' eat chopped and heated potato tubers. [Read: Eating fries]
  • Absolutely nothing
  • Almost everything

Transmissibility & Virulence:

  • CMD is highly contagious
  • CMV (the vector of infection) transmitted through almost all media
  • CMV may remain inactive, circumventing immune system
  • Undefined antigenicity

Known Treatments:

  • Current treatments are highly ineffective. Treatments involve exposing individuals to high concentrations of Continuous Noise (CN) [Read: Cyanide], administered by Noise Inducing Educated (NIE) qualified specialists [Read: Teachers]. This form of treatment will however cause extensive nerve and cranial damage.

Suggested Control:

  • Quarantine of all individuals exposed to virus


When an affected individual is exposed to triggers (extremely common in everyday circumstances), Chiasm Spongiform Mingsticase receptors located in the upper cortex are activated, signalling production of CMVs [Read: random fluff], inducing uncontrollable fits in which individual tends to make short gasping inhalations and exhalations and generating a large degree of noise (approximately 80dBA) [Read: Laughter] CMVs are spread during this period, as vectors are expelled through nostrils and mouth at high velocity, which may then enter the system of others.

During incubation period, the CMV progresses to the cortex, at which point it embeds in frontal left lobe. CMV forms a parasitic relationship and degenerates synapses, as well as causing genetic mutation and production of CMD receptors. The exact mechanism is currently unknown. [Read: random fluff]

End Notes: The power of suggestion is highly effective in this case, as individuals afflicted with the CMD tend to control themselves if suggested that they might be infected or psychotic.

Tests carried out show that 87% of the time, telling infected personnel that they are psychotic will block CMD receptors for approximately 15 seconds, during which triggers will not activate CMV production. After which, major triggers may trigger receptors. Past 10 minutes however, the infected person will resume their easily-triggered phase. Long term reinforcements of suggestion tests have yet to be carried out. More details will be added as information is obtained.

Database Entry Contributed by:

Ook Werdna, Associate Professor, 7DMF

Gnow Salkin, PhD, Mein University of Germany (MUG) [MUGger!]

[Note: Sesquipedalian terminology may be Googled]


  1. at last...higher-order humour =)

  2. agree. it appears that higher-order humour stems from low-order humour.

  3. lol..nice one..