Taken from the Jokes board of a game.
Cows and YOUR Gov't.FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you needed.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The goverment takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
MILITATIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for: A) speculating in cow futures and the press dubs the affair "Cowgate", B) Sleeping with one of the cows, then denying it, then admiting it after a leather blazer with milk stains are presented as evidence, and then the president is charged with treason, C) you plan to impeach the president for lack of intelligence and for talking like a goat.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything about it.
FRENCH DEMOCRACY:You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and have a bottle of wine. Life is good.
AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. So?
CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY of JAPAN: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. Forty years later you get milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that, it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain.Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cow.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian Intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government forbids you to milk or kill them.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the Constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."
IN FLORIDA: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Your brother gets to count the votes. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of cow experts from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
IN CALIFORNIA: You have thirty four million bovine. It's like a melting pot for cows and bulls of all walks of life. Different flavours, different colours. They all make real California cheese. Half the cows marry other cows and the other half of the bulls marry other bulls. Only five speak fluent English. Most are illegal. The head cow, an Austrian breed, is conervative but likes the ones with the big udders the most.
IN IRAQ: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send audio tapes of their mooing.
WITH THE TALIBAN: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
FEDERAL REPUBLIC of INDIA: You have two cows. You worship both of them as deities, and offer them milk. Rats take over the temple and you worship them as well as offer them milk. You are not allowed to milk or kill the cows, for it would mean your own death. You live in poverty, yet enlightened.
Cheers =p
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