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Wednesday, 7 June 2006

Camp

Foreword: It has been a bit more then two weeks and I have some free time.. and there hasn't been anything on the camp yet. So uhm. Yeah.

Disclaimer: The following is an entirely fictitious story, based on untrue events, which definitely did not happen from the 27th to 29th of May, 2006. Characters are wholly imaginary, and their exploits are exaggerated. This is in no way an attempt at satire, and neither are any comments made thus far sarcastic. Any correlation with persons living or dead are entirely coincidental. If striking resemblances are found, feel free to voice your opinion by emailing this address: The author Rest assured your grievances will be attended to with utmost haste and resolving the problem will be the top priority over anything else. In fact, the author has already expressed a method he assures will work extremely effectively. It involves a mallet.

The Happy Camp
It was bright and sunny morning as Salkin rose from his bed at a godly time, 7am. Indeed, the sun was shining merrily and the birds were chirping already, for it was quite late in the day already, and everyone was already up. And the reason for Salkin's late rising was due to the fact that he was going on a camp today, and was expected in school no earlier then 8:40! Perhaps if he had been expected at 6:40 he wouldn't have wasted so much time in bed, like the other lucky souls who probably woke at 5. Salkin envied them. But his moment of jealousy was soon gone, because he knew that he was soon to go on a camp, and be separated from home with it's nice bed and fluffy cushions and warm blankets, (which are oh so horrible), and be rid of his computer with the boring lousy games for an entire 3 days! Ahh, the joy of camping. To sleep on hard ground in cold tents with monster insects, what more could one man ask for? Bounding about in excitement he wolfed down breakfast and got ready to leave. With no tinge of regret or sadness did he depart his home, and headed for school.

Upon reaching there, he was just on time, yet he found no one. Of course, that wasn't the fault of the organisers, it must have been the bad impression students had left on them, and they expected the students to be late. Such efficiency wondered Salkin in wonderment, to plan for this in advance. Soon he came across a teacher, who looked as though she knew exactly where she was and what she was to be doing. And with all confidence she passed Salkin the name sheet to mark attendance. What a great honor to be bestowed upon humble Salkin, who felt the enormity of responsibility that he was entrusted with. And with all due haste he marked the attendance of those present. It was a 100% attendance, and all those without excuses were present. Undoubtedly they were just as excited as him. As he glanced at those unable to come, he felt a pinch of pity, poor people, they would be missing this wonderful camp.

Soon after, taking a mere half hour, they departed and left for Pulau Ubin, the campsite, switching from bus to ferry along the way. When they first arrived, they saw a resort, and for a moment Salkin thought they might be sleeping there instead of camps. Imagine the horror and shock that shattered his poor mind, and his expectations were destroyed as they might be given BEDS instead of tents. Luckily, this was not to be, and they were led away from the resorts. Everyone gaped in awe at the humongous campsite that they were presented with, complete with a fake ocean. After a short safety briefing that was really important, telling everyone important information, such as no smoking (wow, it was something that never occurred to Salkin, and there was a very good chance that he might have gone smoking!) People were given tents to set up. They were in excellent condition, just a little worn from usage, such as bags being ripped, parts like the tent sheet missing, holders missing, bent rods, old rubber, but otherwise in perfect pristine condition! Salkin and his group were lucky, because the tent they were given didn't have the sheet which would be covering the tent and block the rain etc. Instead, they were given another entirely new tent to set up instead of taking the sheet from another tent set. Wow, what nice instructors, to give them this additional practice. These tents were capable of holding 6 people (provided they slept rolled into balls of course), but the kind instructors let us stay in groups of 4, with our bags. How nice.

After setting up our tents, Salkin had lunch. Boxed lunch, probably imported from some god-blessed place, consisting of white rice, vegetables and unidentifiable meat. It tasted absolutely heavenly, and had great nutritional value, such as all the starch from the white rice, msg, coloring, and flavoring from the meat, and the fibre from the boiled vegetables. Not to mention they were given an option to have seconds, no doubt a result of brilliant foresight and planning on their part, having enough for everyone to have two servings and then some.

After which, Salkin and his friends were given the task to climb some strange pyramidal structure. In fact, it was the only kind in the world, something they must have been very proud of since they told everyone 7 times. He would never get a chance to climb something so utterly unique anywhere else. After they collected a safety harness and a helmet, being broken into little groups to go pick them off the ground because otherwise it might have gotten messy. Such foresight and efficiency. They were then asked to leave the water bottles in the shade (no doubt to ensure it didn't heat up a lot, or the plastic might have melted), then had a safety briefing in the sun.
It took the instructors a mere 15 minutes to teach everyone how to put on their helmets, and another 15 to put on their safety harnesses. Then they waited around in the sun as they prepared various things, stuff which couldn't possibly have been done earlier. After everything was ready, the first group went up, and took only about half an hour for them to climb up a ladder and clip themselves to the safety ropes and things. It was really fast. After all, safety was paramount, and that's why they were attached to a safety line to climb up a ladder, then put on an intermediate safety line, removed the first safety line, put on the other safety line, and removed the intermediate safety line. Each time the instructor was expected to check that the clip was screwed tightly, letting the student first check the clip himself, then let the instructor double check. Finally when he was attached safely, the next student could go. By the time it came to Salkin's group, only about an hour had passed. When they all were safely attached, they were all hyper and excited to attempt the first obstacle. They displayed excellent teamwork, (after all, that was the objective of the game,) and cleared the obstacle in about 45 seconds. Then they went and started attaching themselves to the various safety lines and removing the previous ones, so that they might be able to do the second obstacle. However, as they were doing so, it started raining, and they did everything in reverse and went back down. What a bummer.

But no fear, after everyone was soaked thoroughly by the rain, they were moved into the air-conditioned room, which all nice and cooling after the strenuous work. And all the instructors had a great wet-weather plan all ready, with their brilliant foresight. It involved shouting random words such as 'oi', 'oiii', 'oiiioi', and 'oioioi'. Salkin and his friends were then expected to shout back the same thing. It was extremely difficult and taxing, probably one of the reasons why Salkin was unable to do so and spent quite a bit of time being quiet and looking highly perplexed. (Yes, perplexed. He wasn't glaring or muttering darkly to himself.) More fun followed including things such as learning how to clap. And how to count the number of claps one gave. It was all really difficult, and poor Salkin couldn't keep up, and went to sleep after a while.

After the rain stopped, they went back to the pyramid structure and started the process of going back up. This time it didn't rain, and they completed the various obstacles uneventfully.
Overall the whole thing was extremely difficult and taxing, and after the various ordeals Salkin now knew much more about working together as a team, and all the various team skills that they were supposed to learn, after all, with an utterly unique design like that, and being made to move together in a group, it was the epitome of team building, was it not?

After the pyramid thingy, everyone went for dinner. It was out doors cooking, and they were provided with carrots, onions, potatos, and sausages. Aluminium foil, salt and pepper were also provided. They were told to dump everything in aluminium foil and throw it onto the fire for 15 minutes. Then turn it over for another 15 minutes. They were given 30 minutes to prepare food, cook, and eat. More then sufficient time.

Salkin was sad that he had carried along his own food, extra weight which he wouldn't be bothering to eat because the food would undoubtedly be enough to fill his hunger.

After dinner they went and played more complex brain taxing games, which mostly involved random noise and shouting. It encouraged alot of team skills and leadership abilities, and the competition to be the noisiest was really intense as everyone fought with their utmost ability to shout the loudest in the small confined room.

Finishing up, and exhausted from all the teambuilding, they went to sleep in their tents. It was really cool in the tent, with the confined air and lack of wind. They didn't bother to play any card games, and went to bed and slept well on the comfortable concrete ground on the little pebbles that littered the campsite. Neither were they annoyed by the insects and mosquitoes when they opened the tent flap for air.



Meh, this is taking quite some time. I'll leave it at there for now
~nik

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